Social Life in Children

Hey!


Before I start, Thank you so much for the love and support in my last blog. I am more than grateful that my emotions in words touched your heart. Thank You! <3 Unlike other times, I have received amazing comments of how people felt.

Apologies that I did not post this last weekend, I don't know what happened.

Today, I have something similar, yet different. In this short post, I am going to share two stories. They are real life stories that I have seen/experienced.

I guess most of you know that I do tutoring on Saturdays, if you have been reading my posts from the start. My current role in the centre is to monitor children's mental maths. Thus, I get to interact with over 30 students over 2 weeks. Before I start my task, I like to have a small conversation with them so my students do not feel like "every teacher is boring and strict". I am going to share 2 stories of 2 different children. Lets name them Child 1 and Child 2 so keep it anonymous.

Child 1 came to my table and before I even said hello, he said "Miss the 8 times tables right?" I said "Hold on! You did not even say hi to me" He replied "Sorry miss, hello!" and we carried on with our work. This child is very enthusiastic about his times tables. Even when it is not his turn he will come to me and say "miss am I doing my times tables today?" I have to sadly say no.
This was the week when their half term started and there was no class the next Saturday so I asked him "are you free this half term to do extra times tables". He replied "Yes Miss, I don't have anything to do this half term, I will be doing my homework". I got quite shocked because very few children are so enthusiastic about learning and education in general. I asked "Why? Don't you have anyone or anything to play with?" He replied "no I don't have any friends or don't watch TV or anything. I got even more shocked. What was he saying? A little child who is alone? I wanted to ask him why he does not have any friends but skipped it to avoid being insensitive.

Not having friends is a nightmare for me. For this child, it is something he deals with everyday!

Child 2 came in to my table and he also forgot to say hello. I had to remind him of the same thing as Child 1 about greetings. I went through the times tables with him to see if he learnt it and he was fine with his target. Again, I also asked this child if he is free during the half term. I assume he misunderstood my question and told me his daily routine during school times. He said "Miss I get up in the morning, go to school, come home, eat something and then go to mosque. Then I come home, eat my dinner, do my homework then go to sleep". As much as it shouldn't shock me, it still shocked me. This child's situation is different from the last one but this child gets no time to play at all!

You might be wondering why you are reading this in the first place. Let me tell you that all these social issues of unable to have fun and not getting along with friends isn't something it only happens in grown ups, it also happens in children and I think we should do something for them. If you see primary or junior secondary school children who are in such situations, help them out. Make them realise it is okay to have fun while they are still young...


I apologise it was not much but I felt the necessity to deliver this to all my lovely readers. Make sure to check back every weekend for a new post.

Take Care



Yours Nafiza

Letter To Younger Self

This is a letter for my 10 year old self:


Dear Younger Me,


How are you doing? You must be doing well, even though you might not think so. Still in primary school, not thinking about what is about to come next in life. Did mum tell you off today for doing something silly again? I am not even going to ask how school is going because I know you are doing amazing by passing those monthly tests. You work really hard and let me tell you that with all the ups and downs you will face in life, you will grow stronger and work harder. You will learn more languages, you will transition from speaking Spanish to English, why? Because mum and dad will decide to move to the UK in 3 years. That will be a big part of your life because you will get so mature by this big change and the complications you face. If you are wondering why, let me summarise for you. The first few months after joining secondary in the UK, you will not understand a single word they say because it does not sound like the English you hear in other places, your classmates will give you dirty looks, bully you and not be helpful at all. Instead, they will find the opportunity to make you the laughing subject, even the Asians, which you thought they would help, but no! Although you are a quick learner and will end up learning English in 2-3 months. You better be thankful to every teacher who tried to help you and get you to adjust to the environment so well so fast.

Just before I keep talking about you, let me mention that mum has massively improved herself too. She started to study as soon as she came and now she works in a school! Little bro won't be little anymore, he will grow so much taller than you and dad will be dad. You will have 2 more cousins and will hate our family from dad's side. Do not let their temporary sweetness fool you, stay away! More family will also come to the UK and our family will meet a lot more people, only to know that it won't last too long because of their large needs from a stranger.

You will meet a lot of people yourself alone, become friends with them, etc. You will get to know how deceiving people at such ages can be and how low they can go for what they want. Don't worry, eventually you will move out of such unhealthy friendships and move on in life stronger. Believe or not you are quite social with people, don't listen to what mum and dad say about that. At every stage of life, you will meet new people and make new friends. You have a lot of friends, but you have a lot of insecurities about yourself and your friends, which makes you always the "free to help" person. It is tiring but this is to ease your insecurities. I don;t need to tell you this as you are currently insecure about being the third wheel between N. and J. (don't want to name them but we know who they are). You will keep being (at least you will think) the third friend for quite a lot of the time. Just get along with them and stay strong because someone called A. will come to your life quite soon and you will form a great bond of friendship with her. You will laugh with her, cry with her, get mad, get sad, worried, anything. She is nothing like you but that is what keeps your friendship with her so strong. Just be by her side when she needs you. You will be separated but technology will help keep you together. With the other friends, just be normal and I guess don't expect much. Let me just say that for some unknown reason, you will be treated less of a friend than the others in the friend zone. Again, stay strong! We might meet someone in the future who will treat us like we mean the world to them. If not, this world is temporary and so just focus on your life and your imaan. People are very unappreciative at the end. As I am writing this to you, I am filled with tears of sorrow, though how strong I have grown and am telling you to remain strong. You will be mad, sad, jealous and that is completely normal. Be nice to the girls but do not do so much where you are left with memories and sorrow at the end. Don't worry because there will one or two who genuinely like you for you. Treat them well!

In terms of life itself, you will have a lot of ups and downs. Do not trust any of the up moments and do not remain sad during the down moments. Things will keep changing quite often. Be ready to take up all this pressure coming up. I am not disappointed at where I currently am so just go with the flow. Although I do wish I grew a bit stronger and was in a better position. I am currently (10 years later) in university studying about medication as you will be interested at some point when you find out being a doctor is a bummer. You will also work! Yes, you will earn money! Not a lot though. Not one, 3 places. You will work in a hospital pharmacy as a volunteer so unpaid, you will tutor kids and work at a well known American cinnamon roll shop called Cinnabon, with someone's help. You will see who... You will learn to maintain your valuable time by ignoring what does not matter and spending on what will help you grow a better person more into the future. In a year I will hopefully graduate if all is well and keep on studying because you wanted to do so. I wish you would pay attention to lessons and start revision and coursework as soon as possible, not the night before the exam!

I also wish you would have started to care about your body at where you are now. It is a struggle and you have been bullied about it and will be bullied more. At the end you will get used to it at my point of time but will keep trying to lose weight. Did you know you will see Cambridge uni? Yeah! You will be a really good cook like mum and will actually sometimes cook for the family and sometimes the guests. Your bakery skills will get quite good and will try to invent your own recipes to post in your blog. You will, as mentioned, have a blog where it will get quite good at first but really go down in a couple of months time. It will be about a bit of everything in general. You are currently quite obsessed with makeup but you probably don't have a lot. Don't worry, at my stage, you will have a ton of makeup and you will actually use them with confidence. You will be obsessed with Indian dramas at some point for quite long and at the end you will realise how generic and horrible the story/plots are and will give up. Later on you are introduced to Japanese cartoons, called Anime and they will help you with the insecurities, depression and negative feeling you will have.

I am not quite sure but I guess you find someone fancy. It will fade out and that will not be the only time but it will happen a few more times. You will fancy someone and get obsessed. Nothing will happen and will remain single all the way! Honestly, you will be happy single because it is a burden to have someone next to you as partner from what you see of people around. At my age, you will apparently give love advice to some of your close friends, but you will be single hahaha. The advice are based on your experiences of feelings towards people you will come across on the way. At my point you might be serious with one... You will use the alternative of hahaha which is "LOL", which you also wish it did not exist because people use it for everything. "I am in pain lol", "I failed lol", "Kill me lol". I don't think you will use it as much as other people.

Lastly, you will not regret anything that will happen in the next few years. Make your decisions wisely and don't forget to live life.

Love

Yours, Nafiza